Medical Articles
Why You Don’t Want to Get Aphasia!
By wisequack at June 17, 2013 | 1:49 pm | 0 Comment
There was an old fellow who had a bad stroke A part of his brain accidentally broke The right frontal got stuck What a "stroke" of bad luck He can no longer laugh at a joke - - - "Hand me the . . . thing there nurse! You know . . . the borgsnaffler . . . thingy." I stared in unbelief at the orthopedic surgeon I was assisting in surgery. He was having more...
Boomer’s Legacy Ride
By wisequack at June 4, 2013 | 8:30 am | 0 Comment
http://www.stayclassy.org/fundraise?fcid=246698 I have always been respectful of Remembrance Day, and have tried to instill the same in my kids. I will always pause at the 11th hour, no matter what I’m doing. “Doc, umm, why are you stopping compressions on me!?” “Shhhh, a little respect please.” A Canadian soldier’s death in Afghanistan, however, is more...
Music and Medicine
By wisequack at June 3, 2013 | 11:12 am | 0 Comment
Swinging open the doors to my TD bank, (I’m hoping a plug here will garner the same material gratitude that a Purdy’s Sweet Georgia Browns’ plug did) I can hear the tellers whisper, “Hey Audrey, here comes Mr. NSF”, which I’m well aware stands for Not the Swiftest Fysician. Apparently, since that incident with the balaclava/Lone Ranger thing, I’m now more...
The Dangerous Cholla
By wisequack at May 27, 2013 | 11:25 am | 0 Comment
Recently my wife and I wandered off into Arizona’s Sonoran desert, she in search of adventure, me thinking she said “Let’s wander off for some dessert.” Not too far into the hike we came across a soft, cute, fuzzy, baby lying on the desert floor. It looked so inviting it could have been a dessert, I pointed out. But to make it even more appealing why not call it a more...
A Preliminary Premonition
By wisequack at May 22, 2013 | 6:24 am | 0 Comment
Let me preface this column by saying that “Predict, prevent and preserve” should be the slogan for physicians whose job is to have you die young . . . at an old age. To prevent you from getting a stroke, hypertension, diabetes or coming down with an unexpected case of “eternal rest”, we now tend to diagnose you with pre-diseases. Some of you might cynically more...
From My Hernia To Yours
By wisequack at May 7, 2013 | 1:06 pm | 0 Comment
After a rewarding summer of safe sexy cycling (Spandex completes me), I was ready to start hockey season in the best shape I’ve been in since my days in the NHL. (Sect. 16 Row L) First game: October 1. First period: Wow, no need for oxygen/Dilaudid/EMT. Second period: Still with great wind, so to speak. Third period: The game is a barn burner. I’m skating more...
Incredible Kustom Medicine
By wisequack at April 28, 2013 | 1:45 pm | 0 Comment
Dr Rob Sealey, my wife (different people), adopted son Ed Watson (CTV news reporter extraordinaire), and I flew a few centuries back in time to the exciting, remote South Pacific island of Tanna in Vanuatu. Trey had a sore shoulder. Hurt it while trying to knock a flying fox out of the air with his machete -- thought he had dinner, but instead he had a sore shoulder. more...
A Rockin’ Hospital
By wisequack at April 23, 2013 | 10:54 am | 0 Comment
It isn’t in any of the travel brochures. Fodor’s forgot and Lonely Planet left it lonely. We were in Buda-pest, a tale of two cities with Pest (not pest as in silverfish or KanyeWest) on the flat side of the Danube and Buda (not Buddha as in large following and larger navel force) on the hilly other. While strolling aimlessly down the back streets of Buda more...
Piss Prophets
By wisequack at April 15, 2013 | 9:50 am | 0 Comment
A prophet is without honour/humour in his own country . . . well, no wonder. “Piss prophets” (“PP” for short) were once the cream of the medical crop, the original whiz kids so to speak. Back in the good old days, urine was the number-one way to diagnose disease, predict the future, win the lotto, et cetera. Piss prophets diagnosed illness by subjecting urine more...
Get Your Bearings Straight
By wisequack at April 9, 2013 | 6:10 pm | 0 Comment
I have always been impressed with the fact that volunteers are amongst the happiest and mentally healthiest people in our community. In the hospital, in the nursery, or out in the community making meals, driving meals, driving others, reading to others or whatever else needs to be done to help their neighbours, their community, their fellow man. Those who recognize the more...
